“I’m Sorry” IS As “I’m Sorry” Does

Have you ever been in a close relationship with someone and they apologized to you in this manner:  “I’m sorry I said ‘this’.  I said ‘this’ because of what you did.”  The apology is based on the premise that the apologizer is only just responding to your bad behavior.  The apologizer’s behavior was deemed OK by the apologizer but their response wasn’t. According to them, their ‘bad’ response is just a ‘natural’ reaction to your ‘bad’ behavior.  Consequently, every bad thing that happened in the relationship at that time was your fault, according to their sham apology. The apologizer takes no responsibility for his or her own actions.  And, they may not even be aware of their contribution to the problem at hand.

 This type of bogus apology tells me that I am in relationship with someone who does not love me.  The apologizer only sees that they have been ‘wronged’. They do not want to be reconciled.  They do not want the relationship to be repaired and righted. They desire only to protect their self-image and keep their reputation ‘clean’.

 With these types of apologies, your relationship is like the game of Sorry:  your opponent ‘lands’ on you and sends you back to Start – so close and so far from Home.

 “Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”  ~Kimberly Johnson

  “A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn.”
Unknown Author

“We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.”
François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (I want a name like this!)

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