Monroe Harbor Midday

Thursday noon I walked along Chicago’s Monroe Harbor.  There, anchored sailboats bobbed on top of Lake Michigan’s rolling green-blue water.  It seemed that each boat’s mast had become a swinging pendulum of a winding-down metronome.  A chorus of bell sounds could be heard.  The boats’ block and tackle, loosely fitted, clanged and clinked against the mast with each back and forth of the boat.

 In Monroe Harbor there are sailboats with names like Trade Winds, Sea Odyssey II, Aquatics Synonymous and Blind Ambition. This quietly undulating waterfront scene provided the bottom half of my horizon. Above, the solid sun shone directly over my head like a much hoped-for halo, burning a hole into the cloudless cerulean sky.

 … I come here often during my lunch times.  I need the sights and sounds of sea and sky for my moorings

“I’m Sorry” IS As “I’m Sorry” Does

Have you ever been in a close relationship with someone and they apologized to you in this manner:  “I’m sorry I said ‘this’.  I said ‘this’ because of what you did.”  The apology is based on the premise that the apologizer is only just responding to your bad behavior.  The apologizer’s behavior was deemed OK by the apologizer but their response wasn’t. According to them, their ‘bad’ response is just a ‘natural’ reaction to your ‘bad’ behavior.  Consequently, every bad thing that happened in the relationship at that time was your fault, according to their sham apology. The apologizer takes no responsibility for his or her own actions.  And, they may not even be aware of their contribution to the problem at hand.

 This type of bogus apology tells me that I am in relationship with someone who does not love me.  The apologizer only sees that they have been ‘wronged’. They do not want to be reconciled.  They do not want the relationship to be repaired and righted. They desire only to protect their self-image and keep their reputation ‘clean’.

 With these types of apologies, your relationship is like the game of Sorry:  your opponent ‘lands’ on you and sends you back to Start – so close and so far from Home.

 “Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”  ~Kimberly Johnson

  “A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn.”
Unknown Author

“We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.”
François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (I want a name like this!)

This Is Where I Get Off

Standing at the corner of State and Madison today, waiting to cross the street,  I saw a huge CTA bus drive right up close to me and then go down the street  In the front window of the bus was a small almost obscure sign which read:  “Training Bus”.  The writing of the sign was such that you couldn’t read it until the bus was right up on you.  Maybe the innocuous sign is posted as a federal regulation:  to let the reader know why they were almost hit by a bus.  Or, maybe these are your last words, posted at the intersection of heaven and earth.

“The safest road to Hell is the gradual one — the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts. “  From the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis

The Taste of Chicago

With a friend of mine from work, I walked over to the Taste of Chicago today.  This yearly event held in Grant Park is jam-packed with great food samples from restaurants throughout Chicago.  The weather for past Taste events has been extremely hot.  Our midday lunch weather this year was warm and breezy – perfectly enjoyable.

 We bought our tickets and then wandered through the smoky air past barbequed ribs, jerk chicken, Satay chicken, pork tacos, polish sausage, hot dogs, brats, Chicago deep dish pizza, gyros, cheese cake and dozens more local and ethnic food booths.  The smells embrace you as you walked past the open-faced booths.  In the distance a Latin group could be heard singing on one of several stages.

  My usual stop is a Billy Goat’s Tavern.  This is where you’ll hear Cheezborger! Cheezborger! No fries, cheeps! No Pepsi, Coke!”? This year was no different.

http://www.billygoattavern.com/

I can’t resist the spiel, so I buy a cheeseburger, chips and a Pepsi.  Deon wanted the Upside Down Caramel Cupcake from Abundance Bakery.  (It’s funny how God reminds me of certain things.  See my previous post!)  Later, she and I later walked past Eli’s Cheesecake booth.  We both lusted after the Turtle Cheesecake with Vanilla Ice Cream.  Mmm! Lord, have mercy! 

http://blog.elicheesecake.com/

 At last year’s Taste, Deon and I followed the food booths to Buckingham Fountain.  There in the gardens surrounding the fountain we found the Budweiser Clydesdales.  They stood majestically in the shade of the high arching trees. Though I stood on tiptoes, I could not reach the top of their heads. We didn’t see the horses this year, though. Instead, Deon and I and thousands of others were the one’s putting on the feed bag.

 I may have to return to the Taste later this week and check out the Carbon booth for some steak tacos and then some awesome cheesecake at the Eli’s booth.  It’s a good thing that I walk there and back from work. I may need to walk home, too.

Embrace the upSide Down

“But when they did not find them, they dragged Jason and some brethren to the rulers of the city, crying out, “These who have turned the world upside down have come here too.”

The words “upside down” came into my head last Sunday night.  I’m not sure why.  When these words showed up on my radar I immediately thought of the above verse from Dr. Luke’s account, The Acts of The Apostles.  I have been seeking the Lord about some ways for me to live out my life for the Kingdom of God – to return a profit for the Kingdom.  As is my nature I looked for something exotic to fill my days with:  some grand cause to devote my time, energy and money towards.  But, the “grandiose cause” turns out to be just my own desire to control the cause, make it mine and receive all the credit: “You are truly magnanimous!”  That type of thinking doesn’t get you very far in God’s Kingdom.  In fact, it only digs a rut to your own slough of despair.

Well, the Lord got my attention on Sunday night. I asked for wisdom and He gave it to me – pressed down, shaken and in good measure.  Words both old and new began to fill my head:  “when you pray…”; “when you fast…”; “when you give…” 

Now, I know what I need to do.  Who knows?  I may become one of those “who turn the world upside down.”

My Day(s) in Court

Over the course of many years I have had the privilege of serving on juries.  Because I am a registered voter, I had been chosen to serve on juries.  The juries that I served on each served a different legal entity within the legal system and each jury experience entailed learning about a law and applying that law in each particular case.

The petit trial jury, as usual, is picked from a general pool of people.  The pool is then narrowed down by asking questions to obtain a certain neutrality or lack of pre-judgment to the person being tried.  Both the defense and the plaintiff’s attorneys try to bring on a juror who would be sympathetic to their client and someone who also is impartial and not having any personal bias in any ‘way-out’ direction.  They also look for someone who has a basic understanding of life and someone who is not a law breaker.  I was picked to be a juror.  There were twelve of us selected to hear a case regarding battery charges against a man.  The plaintiff was his wife.

Once the jury selection process was completed the judge gave the jury some general instructions. The plaintiff and defendant then entered the courtroom and the trial began. There were opening arguments from both sides.  There were photographs submitted as evidence of physical abuse.  The woman’s face was shown bruised and scratched. There was testimony from both partied involved and then closing statement by both attorneys.  The jury was then told to go to the jury room and to deliberate on all the counts of battery that were charged against the man.

Once in the jury room there was lot of immediate discussion, some of it about the hour of day.  It was five-o’clock in the afternoon.  Some of the jurors wanted to get the deliberation over with quickly and get home for supper.  We soon decided that jury foreman was needed so we each suggested someone and then someone said that we should vote secretly to decide who would be the foreman. We voted and an outspoken man was picked. He seemed to be a natural leader.

We discussed for two hours.  We talked about the charges, we looked at the pictures and we took secret votes along the way to see where the jury stood.  We could not come to complete agreement about the verdict.  I said the man was guilty.  Many others said that this kind of thing happens all the time and that he shouldn’t be charged.  Mostly the men and a couple of the women said this.  I said the evidence strongly suggests that he did do what he was alleged to have done – hit his wife and hurt her. The jury became deadlocked. A unanimous decision could not be reached.

At seven o’clock we told the bailiff that the jury was deadlocked.  The bailiff told the judge and he sent back word that we must reach a decision – we must resolve our severe differences.  We again discussed the case for another two hours.  We still we could not agree on a verdict.  There were ten jurors who wanted to acquit the man and two of us who thought he was guilty as charged.  We told the bailiff again and she told the judge.

The judge had us come back into the court room. The foreman read out the non-verdict, “We could not reach a verdict your honor.” The judge subsequently ruled that the case was a mistrial.  The defendant sighed in relief.  The jury was free to go home.

As we were leaving the court room we could then ask questions of the assistant state’s attorney.  As it turned out, this man had been charged with several other similar episodes of physical violence.  He was habitually hurting his wife.  I went home at 10:30 that night knowing that my judgment was right but deeply saddened to know that his man was let go to hurt someone again.  That was my first jury experience.

A year or so later, I received some mail saying that I was selected to serve on the DuPage County Grand jury.  As I recall, the grand jury lasted 4-5 weeks, three days a week. I believe there were 25 people in this jury.  We heard the state’s attorney and the assistant state’s attorneys read charges, providing evidence for the charges.  The charges ranged from felony theft to fraud to gang related violence- capital or infamous crimes.  There were often multiple count indictments for one person. We as a jury were asked whether an indictment should be issued.  The purpose of a grand jury is to determine if there is enough evidence to go forward with a trial.  I learned a lot about the law during this time.  (My employer was none to happy, though, that I was gone from work so much)

A couple years after this grand jury experience I was told by mail that I was to be a federal court juror. I made the trip to downtown Chicago and the Federal Building each day.  This jury of twelve members heard a case about a man accused of transporting stolen radios and electronic equipment across state lines.  I was chosen to be the jury foreman since I had the most previous jury experience.  We heard the testimonies and the evidence.  We heard the accused man testify. We heard the final statements from both attorneys and then we went to deliberate in the jury room.  Our deliberation took 2 hours.  We came back with a verdict.  I read it out loud:  “Guilty on each count, your honor.”

Each jury experience I encountered, and there were several others where I didn’t qualify due to conflict of interest with elements of the case before the court, each experience was a very sobering event. I imagined myself in place of the accused. I also imagined myself as the plaintiff, the supposed victim. I listened to evidence and testimony intensely, garnering facts.  I sought justice and mercy at the same time. It is not easy being a juror and each jury is different. There are always some jurors who are flippant, some who are adamant, some loud and obnoxious jurors and some silent jurors, as well. I will not soon forget these times nor will I forget that there are laws which I must abide by or I will be the one facing my peers in court.

N.T. Wright: Simply Christian

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWn-vt7SeNo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn7nbWpOKyw

N.T. Wright Home Page:

http://www.ntwrightpage.com/

Receiving Yourself in the Fires of Sorrow

 
 
. . . what shall I say? ’Father, save Me from this hour’? But for this purpose I came to this hour. ’Father, glorify Your name’ —Gospel of John, 12:27-28

“As a saint of God, my attitude toward sorrow and difficulty should not be to ask that they be prevented, but to ask that God protect me so that I may remain what He created me to be, in spite of all my fires of sorrow. Our Lord received Himself, accepting His position and realizing His purpose, in the midst of the fire of sorrow. He was saved not from the hour, but out of the hour.

We say that there ought to be no sorrow, but there is sorrow, and we have to accept and receive ourselves in its fires. If we try to evade sorrow, refusing to deal with it, we are foolish. Sorrow is one of the biggest facts in life, and there is no use in saying it should not be. Sin, sorrow, and suffering are, and it is not for us to say that God has made a mistake in allowing them.

Sorrow removes a great deal of a person’s shallowness, but it does not always make that person better. Suffering either gives me to myself or it destroys me. You cannot find or receive yourself through success, because you lose your head over pride. And you cannot receive yourself through the monotony of your daily life, because you give in to complaining. The only way to find yourself is in the fires of sorrow. Why it should be this way is immaterial. The fact is that it is true in the Scriptures and in human experience. You can always recognize who has been through the fires of sorrow and received himself, and you know that you can go to him in your moment of trouble and find that he has plenty of time for you. But if a person has not been through the fires of sorrow, he is apt to be contemptuous, having no respect or time for you, only turning you away. If you will receive yourself in the fires of sorrow, God will make you nourishment for other people.”

Oswald Chambers, from this website, June 25, 2010 reading:

http://utmost.org/

A Temple of the Holy Ghost

Flannery O’Connor’s short story, “A Temple of the Holy Ghost” is a comical story filled with Christian symbolism. There is a “freak”, a hermaphrodite, in the story. The story reveals to us how God regards His creation. Below is a quote from the story. A little twelve-year old girl has just gone to bed after hearing about the freak from two visiting girls.  The girls had just returned from the carnival:

“She lay in bed trying to picture the tent with the freak walking from side to side…She could hear the freak saying, “God made me thisaway and I don’t dispute hit,” and the people saying “Amen. Amen””

Some commentary about the story:

“O’Connor used the hermaphrodite to illustrate that The Holy Ghost or love of God dwells in each of us, whether pretty, ugly, rich, poor or anywhere in between. Even in the body of the hermaphrodite, a grotesque symbol of the unity of man and woman, a temple of God is a holy thing. The hermaphrodite knew that because God dwells in us, we are all reverent beings, and we should mutually treat each other with care, love and respect.”

Commentary from:  

http://mediaspecialist.org/zitotemple.html

“A Good Man Is Hard To Find”

Here is a quote from Flannery O’Connor’s story, “A Good Man Is Hard To Find”:

Alone with The Misfit, the grandmother found that she had lost her voice. There was not a cloud in the sky nor any sun. There was nothing around her but woods. She wanted to tell him that he must pray. She opened and closed her mouth several times before anything came out. Finally she found herself saying, “Jesus. Jesus,” meaning, Jesus will help you, but the way she was saying it, it sounded as if she might be cursing.

“Yes’m, The Misfit said as if he agreed. “Jesus thown everything off balance. It was the same case with Him as with me except He hadn’t committed any crime and they could prove I had committed one because they had the papers on me. Of course,” he said, “they never shown me my papers. That’s why I sign myself now. I said long ago, you get you a signature and sign everything you do and keep a copy of it. Then you’ll know what you done and you can hold up the crime to the punishment and see do they match and in the end you’ll have something to prove you ain’t been treated right. I call myself The Misfit,” he said, “because I can’t make what all I done wrong fit what all I gone through in punishment.”