King Care

(A One Act Play)

[King Care is in his throne room with the Duchess of House Pelosi, the Earl of Senate Reed and Courtier Rahm]

King Care:
“Duchess of House Pelosi, tell me how much you love me.”

Duchess of House Pelosi:
“King Care, your teleprompter words are golden.”

King Care:
“Earl of Senate Reed, tell me how much you love me”

Earl of Senate Reed:
“Your Majesty, future generations will be forever indebted to you.”

King Care (to himself):
“Taxpayer, taxpayer, wherefore art thou taxpayer?”

[Taxpayer Goneril, Taxpayer Regan and Taxpayer Cordelia enter]

King Care:
“Taxpayer Goneril, tell me how much you love me.”

Taxpayer Goneril:
“Thou dost complete me, Your Majesty.”

King Care:
“Taxpayer Regan, tell me how much you love me.”

Taxpayer Regan:
“I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for your health coverage today.”

King Care:
“Taxpayer Cordelia, tell me how much you love me.”

Taxpayer Cordelia:
“I would rather not say my lord King.”
“To be covered or not to be covered that is a taxing question, my lord.”

King Care:
“And you Fool, what say you?”

Fool:
“If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I’d have thee beaten for being old before thy time”

King Care (to Himself):
“Now I see. I will divide my time between my loyal taxpayers Goneril and Regan. I will visit the backyard barbeque of Taxpayer Goneril for a while and then I will go the backyard barbeque of Taxpayer Regan. I will bring with me the Knights of MSNBC.
“Cordelia, O Taxpayer Cordelia. How can she not tell me of her love for me? I know. I’ll banish Cordelia to Europe. Maybe she will learn to love my socialist ways.
[To Cordelia]: “Be gone, Cordelia.”

Earl of Senate Reed:
“Your Majesty, the Duchess of House Pelosi and I must take our leave and return to our homes. The people at home are uprising.”

King Care:
“Take your leave. Godspeed Earl of Senate Reed and Duchess of House Pelosi. Quench the uprisings before any more damage is done to my kingdom.

King Care [To Himself]:
“Can I be going progressively mad? Where is my golf bag? Courtier Rahm, what time do we tee?”

Courtier Rahm:
“Your Majesty, tee time is any time you wish.”
[Courtier Rahm bows low]
“Your Majesty, if I may, I must take leave to return to my home town by the Lake of Michigan. The f—ing public needs my damm good presence.”

King Care [lighting up]:
“Well then take your leave Courtier Rahm. Remind the Taxpayers in that great town of my words to them: “Yes, we can…””
[To Himself]:
“…at any cost.”

Courtier Rahm:
[bowing]
“Yes, of course, Your Majesty. I’m f—ing otta here.”
[Courtier Rahm leaves]

King Care:
[To Taxpayer Goneril and Taxpayer Regan]
“Come along my adoring Taxpayers Goneril and Regan. We will talk about taxes when Earl of Senate Reed and Duchess of House Pelosi return from their campaigns. Let us eat and drink for tomorrow we may die.”

The End.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s