H/T to MAD Magazine

Sign of the Times:

At my workplace two days ago employees were sent an e-mail saying that the vending machine company was raising their prices. Yesterday, I saw a man put a dollar into a vending machine and nothing came out. Today, there is a sign on the vending machine that says, “Sorry, Temporarily Out of Order.” At least we know the price!

Is government healthy for you?

A recent report out of Poughkeepsie, NY finds that there is a direct correlation between Big Oversized Government and Coronary Artery Disease. Also in the report, there is a significant increase in governmental psychosis. More elected officials and government employees are losing touch with reality. To counter these problems the report said that more and more citizens are now relying on Depends to make it through the day.

On a happier note, the makers of Pepto Bismol are reporting increased sales.

This just in…
Increased numbers of corporate jet owners are being grounded by President Obama’s social policies.
Apparently, this policy is causing pilots, mechanics, traffic controllers, flight attendants, airport support personnel and employees of aircraft manufacturers to lose their jobs, further increasing the jobless numbers. Nancy Pelosi was heard to comment that “these job loses were just unfortunate collateral damage in the war for social justice.”

Bounce Back Recovery

Walking the streets of Chicago today I came upon an *African-American woman walking in the opposite direction.  As she approached me, I could see that this large woman was wearing an extra large white T-shirt with the words “Barack Obama” on the front.  Midway down between “Barack” and “Obama” was a black and white picture of Obama grinning like a Cheshire cat. “Barack” bounced and heaved due to the fact that behind “Barack” were two enormous breasts which desperately needed supporting. As the woman came closer I had a moment of great insight: …”Barack”…”Obama”…two large breasts…needing support… big government… needing support!

 When I returned to my office I immediately wrote a check out to Barack Obama. I wrote and told him that I wanted him to buy the largest support bra that he could find for this nation – something that would support the giant teats of the great society!

(*”African-American” is a Jesse Jackson approved modifier.)

(No breasts were harmed in the process of writing this.)

 (This article is rated “8” on the PC Tiz Magnitude Scale.)

http://directorblue.blogspot.com/2011/07/journolist-lives-democrat-media.html

The National Debt is ‘Jack-ed”. Go For It Shelley!

Help! I Need a President!

The self-induced lame duck presidency of BO is certainly going nowhere except down the campaign trial. Last Monday night Obama used a nationally televised speech to campaign for himself.

In his prime time campaign pitch professor Obama lectured the public about debt – as if we are stupid. He also pontificated about a having balanced approach (duh, consider that the national debt has tripled under his watch and he has brought us to this brink). He then went on to spread the manure of blame around to make it seem like he’s just a regular guy who’s above all this.

 During Monday night’s performance Obama went on to pit the rich against the poor, Democrat against Republican and his liberal agenda (he’s beholden to MoveOn.org and George Soros) against everyday common sense.  He continued his class warfare rhetoric and offered nothing of substance, nothing of value to the conversation.  He proposed no debt ceiling plan and he did nothing to encourage confidence in America. Instead, Obama just blathered on blaming others and posturing himself as the great arbiter of American values.

Obama is the most divisive and immature President that I can remember (I have been voting since ’69).  His presidency is worse than the malaise days of Jimmy Carter.  This presidency is a malignant cancerous growth on the hopes of all Americans. He incapacitates hope.

Sadly, O-bots in the mainstream media (MSNBC, Chris Matthews, Rachel Madcow, Media Matters, Think Progress, etc) will continue to promote The All-Wise One and his Trojan horse called Social Justice.  There will also be people who will continue to vote a Democratic ticket because that’s what they always do – they push the “Hopey Changey” button. 

The last time they did, dumb and dumber came out.

“Just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this…and totally redeem yourself!”  Harry in Dumb and Dumber

“You drove almost a 6th of the way across the country in the wrong… DIRECTION!!! Now we don’t have enough money to get to Aspen! We don’t have enough money to get home! We don’t have enough money to eat! We don’t have enough money… TO SLEEP!!”  Harry to Obama, from Dumb and Dumber: Harry (Reid) Meets Barry (Obama)

For Harry (Reid) and Obama every day is a no-brainer. (movie tagline)

Epidemic – Dr. Thomas Sowell

Life Lessons I Will Pass On to My Kids

Don’t hold grudges. I’ve known several people, mostly women, who’ve held a grudge against someone for years. They never relinquish their anger, they never forgive, they never reconcile. They just hold on to their anger because it feels safe and powerful to be angry. But, if you have ever prayed the Lord’s Prayer then you are asking to be forgiven in the same way that you have forgiven (or not forgiven) others. Don’t hold grudges because grudges hold you hostage and they keep others out of your ever shrinking world.

Learn to say, “I’m sorry.” Admit you were wrong. “I’m sorry. Forgive me. I was wrong.” Don’t ever apologize with a blaming apology: “I’m sorry but I did it because you…” I don’t know how many times someone has done this to me. I realize that it is not a true apology but the person’s pride which is speaking. A true apology requires humility. Don’t blame others in your apology. Make your apology by stating what you did wrong. Ask for forgiveness and then shut up.

Face your fears. What’s bugging you? What’s gnawing at your insides causing you to bite your fingernails, drink excessively, spend compulsively and complain incessantly? What are you afraid of? Spell it out on paper. Tell yourself the worst that could happen and prepare for that. Then, get on with your life knowing that the worst that can happen will be dealt with at that time. Keeping your fears alive might make you feel alive but your body, your wife and your friends will bear the brunt of your worry. Face your fears and decide what you will do proactively to address them.

Learn to adapt. Life is hard. Life will throw curve balls at you. Find ways to adapt to change. Expect change and see it as a challenge given to you by God to grow thereby. Sometimes you need new soil to make growth happen. Don’t be afraid. Get on with your life, welcome the opportunity and grow. Change makes goals and desires all the more defined and dearer. I’ve learned, duh, that God knows the beginning from the end. He is already where I am going. He knows my desires. He knows what I want without saying a word. He’s making things happen for my benefit.

Be open-minded. The fact that you are only human should be enough notice to you that you don’t have all the facts. You are not omniscient. Be ready to receive new information, ask questions and listen to others. This will help you discern whether you believe in only half-truths. You want the whole truth. You should be seeking the whole truth in every situation and not something which only fits your politic. Be teachable.  Jesus said The meek shall inherit the earth.

Don’t complain. I know someone who has worked for a company for over twenty years. This guy complains about his boss and how his boss handles things. This guy believes that he knows better than his boss how to run things. Every night he comes home to his wife angry and spiteful. He complains to her and to every one he’s in a relationship with. He’s miserable and he wants every one to feel his misery. My guess is that everyone around him is sick and tired of his whining. They wish that he would quit that job and do something with his life other than complain. But, he likes to recycle his misery. It gives him some measure of pleasure. So, his complaining continues. Don’t complain – just shut up.

Be thankful. You don’t deserve anything except to be physically and emotionally safe from harm. Be grateful and not full of grating discontent.

Be courteous.  These days more and more people are becoming uncaring, thoughtless and just plain rude.  The “rights” revolution is the effect of people becoming  more self-absorbed.  It has given people a sense that they can do whatever they want whenever they want.  Don’t be like them.  Be responsible and kind. Be aware of people around you.  Turn off the cell phone and the loud music.  Be polite and gracious.  Be a light in the darkened wasteland of self.

Choose good friends. I don’t have to tell you that bad friends will bring you down. Good friends will be there when things change for the worse or for the better. You don’t need Job’s friends so it might be better to be alone than to have bad friends. I am a lone and waiting for good friends. Mark Twain said, “Be good and you will be lonesome.” Sad, but often true!

Get married when you are young.  Marriage is good.  For a woman, having children and being a wife and a homemaker is much more fulfilling than having a career. Don’t waste your time trying to become something in the business world.  This kind of nonsense is just rotten leftovers from the feminist movement.  Many people including parents have bought into this notion. This movement thought that if you were equal with men in the workplace and careers you would be complete as a woman and be a success  Well, your body, your heart and your soul know differently. If you have a high school sweetheart and you are both in love and committed to having sex only after marriage I say then,  marry right after high school.  If you wait and marry someone at, say, 28 or 30 by then habits, mainly bad ones from living a single lifestyle, are already ingrained and are very, very difficult to work with. Marry early and grow together. Each of you will change over time and become different people.  This is a fact of life. But this won’t matter if you choose love and commitment over self-interest, if you choose adaption and not abortion of your love.

Love is learned.  Love doesn’t just happen. Love takes a lot of trial and error and lot’s of hard work.  Love is kind, gentle and patient. The hottest fires of passion happen when you have acted in love toward your wife or husband.  Love offers itself without asking for anything in return. Love does what is best for the other person.  It is not selfish. It doesn’t seek its own way. This is the opposite of what the world tells you.  Be aware of this.

Sex is good. Sexual relations between a man and a woman in a committed relationship is wonderful. Outside of this boundary sex becomes an animal reflex and diminishes your sense of self, your humanity. It becomes a cheap thrill.

Give.  Give freely.  Don’t hold back.  This pleases your Father in heaven.

God is not going to do what you can do already. You can ask God for wisdom but if God has given you wisdom already then don’t ask again hoping to get a different answer. You can ask for courage to do what you know. God will bring you through circumstances that will either produce courage/character in our lives or it will produce a stubborn rebellion. It’s your choice. Just know that God has given you liberty to decide what response you will have. Be ready to accept the consequences of your bad response.

Life is short, choose wisdom. Your body, your bank account and your buddies will be thankful you did.

We are family, blood, and we take care of each other. ‘nuf said.

Ask dad. In any situation, when you don’t know which way to go, ask your father. He’s come a long way and he knows the territory.

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” (often attributed to Mark Twain)

“It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.” Mark Twain

Trust God with all your heart. He knew you before you were born.

Pray. Let your every breath and every heartbeat become a prayer.

Something is Floating in the Gene Pool

“Greetings to our constituents, fellow Floridians, and all Americans, here we are for another weekly update. There is only one word that describes the past week: appalling.
It was appalling to hear the President of the United States truly threaten our nation’s senior citizens and Military Veterans/Retirees. Furthermore, the blatant lie that 80% of Americans want their taxes raised is beyond unconscionable.
I believe we are headed towards the ultimate ideological clash in America. There is a widening chasm which has developed between those who believe in principled fiscal policies and those desiring the socialist bureaucratic nanny-state. An unfortunate aspect to this is the complicity of a mainstream media which does not report facts, but rather ideological bias. This clash will determine the future and legacy of our Constitutional Republic.
…..
The unemployment rate under President Obama is a problem of epic proportions, national (9.2%), black community (16.2%), and among veterans (approx 12%). This comes from someone who told us his almost trillion-dollar stimulus would keep unemployment in America under 8%. As well, the almost $2 trillion Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act has been a disaster, and the worst is yet to come.
…..
The problem is, there is no confidence and certainty in the fiscal vision emanating from Washington D.C. and hence revenues and receipts are down. We are not setting the conditions or creating an environment for economic and job growth. For all of you, that is what has to change, and that is where I am committed to seeing change and not the empty rhetorical doublespeak of 2008.

…..
I suppose the President forgot that 47% of wage earning households in America do not pay federal income taxes.
…..
I must confess, when I see anyone with an Obama 2012 bumper sticker, I recognize them as a threat to the gene pool.”

(emphasis mine)

Florida Rep. Allen West, from this post.

(“It is comforting to know that there are still men out there, men with cohones, men who are not hiding behind the skirts of politically correct, false-feminine progressivism.”  Sally Paradise)

Office of the Governor Rick Perry – [Press Release] Gov. Perry Declares August 6th Day of Prayer and Fasting for Our Nation’s Challenges

“Given the trials that beset our nation and world, from the global economic downturn to natural disasters, the lingering danger of terrorism and continued debasement of our culture, I believe it is time to convene the leaders from each of our United States in a day of prayer and fasting, like that described in the book of Joel,” Gov. Perry said. “I urge all Americans of faith to pray on that day for the healing of our country, the rebuilding of our communities and the restoration of enduring values as our guiding force.”

Governor Rick Perry

Office of the Governor Rick Perry – [Press Release] Gov. Perry Declares August 6th Day of Prayer and Fasting for Our Nation’s Challenges.

The True Gospel

I am a conservative Christian. What this means is that I believe that the Bible is God’s Word, that Jesus Christ is God Incarnate and that our salvation is only through Jesus Christ, His death on a cross and His resurrection. There is no other means of salvation.

How do I know? The Bible is a collection of writings penned by ordinary men whom God has spoken through. These writing are God-breathed.  They reveal the truth about God. 

The Bible contains True myth (the Creation) along with historical eyewitness accounts, wisdom literature, prophecy and letters written by the early apostles.

Jesus, the central figure of the Bible, is a historical figure in space and time. This cannot be denied. And, after fifty eight-years of following Christ I know that Jesus Christ is alive and that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I have no doubt whatsoever.

I use the word conservative because there are those who superimpose teaching which projects their own thoughts and feelings onto Scripture thus making their version of the gospel a synthesis of good and evil.  Also, consider that some churches will teach that homosexuality is acceptable because of some romantic and cheapened version of grace.

There are also those who teach that the Bible teaches you how to become wealthy and prosperous. And there are those, social gospel proponents like Jim Wallis and his Sojourners group, who believe that the Bible tells us to rid the world of hunger and poverty, that the wealthy need to do their “fair” share. These same people will tell you that their ‘righteous’ ends justify the means.

There are many who teach a Gospel that is not from God. Their gospel is based on a very human desire to augment the truth with feelings of social compassion, wish-fulfillment and downright denial of its truth to further their political and social agendas. Many people will folow these teachings because the message is one they want to hear:

“I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel — which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God’s curse! As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let them be under God’s curse!”

The Apostle Paul in his letter to the church in Galatia.

What is the message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ?
1. Jesus Christ is the fulfillment of the prophecies of the Old Testament of the coming Redeemer.
2. Jesus Christ is the Messiah.
3. Jesus Christ lived a perfect sinless life for us. He became sin for us.
4. Jesus Christ died for my sins, once and for all.
5. Jesus Christ rose from the dead. He conquered death that I might have eternal life.
6. Jesus Christ ascended to heaven.  There,  He intercedes for me before the Father. If I sin I have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous.
7. Jesus Christ is coming back to take His people home to heaven.

What can you do?
Confess that you are a sinner in need of Christ’s salvation.
Pray:
“Lord Jesus Christ Son of God have mercy upon me a sinner.”
“Lord Jesus Christ save me.”
Tell God that you willingly repent of your sins.
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and Be saved. Tell the Lord that you believe on Him.
Attend a Bible teaching church where the Sacrament of the Lord’s Supper is offered each week. You will need both, not just preaching, or you will fall away.
Be baptized as testimony of your conversion to Christ.

If you do not hear these words at the church you are attending, if instead you hear about how to clean the environment, how to work to get the government to redistribute wealth, how to make money following Christ or how to become an advocate for the earth, the air, the water, the animals, sexual orientation and a host of other causes, then you are not hearing the gospel of Jesus Christ. If you do not hear teachings about sin, the coming judgment, about heaven and hell than you are not hearing the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

“Social gospel” is someone’s version of a “kinder, gentler” version of the gospel.  Presenters of this gospel teach that the rich should be shaken down and despoiled for the sake of the poor. They will teach that government should do this through taxes and wealth redistribution. They elevate government to a place of god-like status. Further, this type of gospel avoids the tragic view of man and his need for redemption.  It presents only what it deems the more ‘positive, social’ aspects of the gospel.  Its saccharin message is much like Al Franken’s Stuart Smalley telling us to think “Happy Thoughts.” Stay away from the placebo-like effects of “social gospel” preaching. If the Lord tells you to give to the poor, then give to the poor out of your own pocket.

There are false ‘gospels’ everywhere which will appeal to your ego, to your grandiosity.  The preaching of this ‘gospel’ will compel you to go out and change the world, to save our planet, to seek social fairness and social justice, to accept homosexuality and sexual perversity as just human foibles and to not call homosexuality what the Bible calls it – sin.  Beware. The “weeds” are presenting their gospel to you. Who are the weeds?  Listen to what Jesus said in the Gospel according to Matthew:

” Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field.  But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.    “The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’ “‘An enemy did this,’ he replied.  “The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’  “‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them.  Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’”

“Then he left the crowd and went into the house. His disciples came to him and said, “Explain to us the parable of the weeds in the field.”  He answered, “The one who sowed the good seed is the Son of Man.  The field is the world, and the good seed stands for the people of the kingdom. The weeds are the people of the evil one, and the enemy who sows them is the devil. The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels.  “As the weeds are pulled up and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of the age.  The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil.  They will throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.  Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is simple and straightforward.  If after hearing the Gospel you filled with a desire to change the world then you have not heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  You have heard your own ego boasting with pride of its own greatness.  The Good Seed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ starts growing in the person who knows he is a sinner and desperately needs Christ’s salvation.  Christ does not need your salvation of the planet or of the poor. Beware of false gospels.  There is “No other Gospel” than what is stated above.

“That’s All I Can Stands, I Can’t Stands No More”

Americans are upset about the impasse in the debt limit talks and about the enormous debt encumbered on each of us but Americans have themselves to blame.  Here’s why.

 Over time, especially since the 1930s, Americans have given the government all of its powers.  Americans have continually asked government to do more for them, the latest entitlement being Obamacare. Americans have increased the size of government and with it the magnitude of problems have increased exponentially due to politics, lobbyists, etc.

 The greater the size of the government the greater the chance for lobbyists to steer the course of legislation to their benefit and they will do it under the radar.  The greater the size of our government the greater the chance that our tax money will fall between the cracks and will profit someone else.  There is no accountability, effectively, for government.  The three branches of government are often enablers.  Government wields its power through taxation and by creating onerous laws and is accountable to no one, not even the voter. It just keeps growing in power because people keep voting in people who promise the world. The checks and balance of our three-cornered system need to be checked and balanced.  We desperately need a Balance Budget Amendment.

 Because people keep asking for more and more ‘stuff’ the politicians promise them this ‘stuff’ to get their vote.  What the voter gets in return is pennies on the dollar. Yet, people, like lemmings, keep voting for a tax and spend Democratic ticket that always brings the US to the brink of financial disaster. Why? Ask yourself.

 I am an independent.  I would never vote Democratic.  The mindless tax and spend policies of Democrats coupled with the embrace of abortion makes their platform prohibitive to me, an Independent and a Christian. The Democratic party is the party of Death, Deference and Dependence.

 I am independent because I believe in a very small government structure, a government that only provides for the national defense, the interstate highways and transportation and the rule of law, enacting justice and not fairness. This kind of government would hold tightly to the Constitution and not make it a “blowin’-with-the-wind” document.

I do not want national healthcare. And, I wish I had all of my Social Security monies that I have paid in so that I can invest those monies in a better way. I don’t need government to do this for me.

 I am a Christian. I give to the poor.  I don’t need government to do this for me through social welfare programs.  Only a fraction of tax monies goes to help the poor.  The rest is used to support the government program and graft. Our country is already a socially just nation without all the welfare programs usurping tax dollars. 

Pet projects:  Planned Parenthood, NPR, the National Endowment for the Arts, etc should never receive tax monies. There should be no Federal earmarks, no Federal bailouts, no pork belly earmarks  – no earmarks whatsoever.  Deep pockets should not mean deeper spending.

I will never understand why African-Americans continue to vote Democratic.  The policies of Democrats promote an enslavement to the federal and state government through dependence on welfare programs: Uncle Sam, the new “Massah”.

 Our representatives in Washington and our local representatives should only be making absolutely sure that our liberties are not infringed upon and that no new laws are being passed.  Period. We should never give them the responsibility or the monies for any programs other than for defense and transportation.  Never.   Our reps should basically have nothing to do but twiddle their thumbs and make self-aggrandizing speeches.

 In the end, I guess we do have a representative form of government – bloated, self-serving, wasteful and out of control.

****

Here’s where some of your tax money goes:

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2011/07/18/nih-backed-study-examined-effects-penis-size-in-gay-community/

Obambies